Once you see (and truly accept) the ugly that is possible in others, it is hard to go back to unseeing the potential for that ugly in nearly everyone you meet (see last post). That said, learning to hold back some enthusiasm in the pursuits and efforts that require introducing new people into the collaborative space is difficult. It is my own nature to lean in and push hard on everything I put my mind to accomplish which makes me vulnerable to those who recognize that part of my nature. Their instinct to take advantage of the efforts of others means that I need to remain vigilant to protect myself which requires me to limit my efforts on their behalf until I am more certain that their values align with my own. This rebalancing of my natural inclination to support without question to one of a cautious watchfulness of my time, effort, enthusiasm, and intellect is what I find myself focused on these days. In the middle of that, I am finding the questions that interest me to be ...
I'm reminded this morning of some painful experiences that I went through beginning back in 2016. In late 2016 I took a job with a company full of promises and short on honor. Unfortunately I did not know how to discern this reality so I plunged head-first into delivering on the promises I made only to be given the "we just don't think we're compatible" speech. From there I helped start a company with a cold-blooded narcissist, and because I lacked the emotional intelligence I failed to protect myself and fell prey to the CEO and his self appointed narcissist supply. That situation continues to haunt because I am a shareholder and have some unfortunate connections that prevent me from completely severing from the ugly. There's more... Much more, but let's focus on my work environments. I turns out that there are folks in this world who's first (and probably only) thought is for themselves. This was a hard lesson for me. One that has radically change...